"sometimes, being single is much better not because i want to stay away from commitments and be free to flirt or go out with anyone i like, but it is more on accepting the fact that i'm just too tired of believing in and fighting for something that isn't meant to be."

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defibrillated back

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
the room was bathed in sunlight as the clouds moved away.  freshly poured rain engulfs the landscape and the sound of birds slowly came to life.  yet erie silence still was deafening as he lay still, only to be broken by the occasional blips of the monitors that are connected to him, monitoring his every condition.  he has been this way for over four months now with still no signs of improvement.  flowers, balloons, stuffed toys, and get-well gifts and cards from friends wishing for a miracle are scattered around as the nurse enters for her daily routine.  the sound of the opening door awakened her, slumped on his bedside.
 
“any changes during the night?” the nurse asked her as she slowly gathered herself.  “none,” was her waking reply.  the nurse smiled as she proceeded to him to check the instruments and get the usual readings–heart rate, blood pressure, pupil dilation–and other signs.  “i see the rain finally stopped,” she remarked as she noticed the warm sunlight going thorugh the droplet-stained window.  “yeah, it was raining non-stop the whole night,” the nurse replied.  she then observed her as the nurse went about her daily routine when she noticed one of his fingers on his left arm twitch.  although she has seen this before and is considered normal for someone in his condition, she somehow felt that this was different.

“he’s…  he’s…”  she stammered to get her words out to the nurse as she continued to see the twitch become successive in nature.  “i’ve told you before that that is normal,” the nurse replied without even paying attention to the movements.  then suddenly, the monitors started beeping long and loud as his vital stats started to deteriorate.  the nurse, startled by the turn of events, pressed the emergency button near the head board and called on the intercom.

“emergency on room 524, we need a doctor immediately!”  shouted the nurse as she started doing CPR on him.  teary eyed, she fell to her knees as the nurse frantically tried to revive him.  doctors and other nurses stormed into the room a few seconds later and surrounded him.  one of the other nurses checked for a pulse and a doctor asked the first nurse information about what happened.  the room was filled with a series of instructions, monitor noises, and frantic requests for more equipment.  “get the crash cart!” one doctor ordered.  “continue giving CPR,” said another.  “still no pulse,” one nurse reported.  amidst all the chaos, she was still on her knees, crying that this revival attempt may not end well and may be the last.  there have been similar instances before, but during those times, the doctors and nurses were able to bring him back, only to a more deteriorated state.

more medical personnel came rushing through the door with crash cart in tow.  it seemed like an eternity as it was hooked up and ready for a last ditch effort to save his life.  “still no pulse,” the nurse shouted as CPR was still being administered.  “get ready to charge the pads,” the doctor instructed.  the high-pitched sound of charging then filled the room.  “charge to 60,” was the first order.  “charged to 60,” the nurse reported back.  “okay, stand clear!”  the doctor yelled as he took the pads and placed them on his chest.  “clear!”  a shuddering thud was then heard, followed by the long beep of a flat line status.  “still flatline,” the nurse shouted.  “continue CPR and charge to 80,” said the doctor.  frantically, the nurse resumed CPR as the defibrillator was being charged.  “charged to 80.”  “clear!”  another thud was heard and another flat line tone.  “still flatline,” the nurse repeated.  “still no pulse either,” a second nurse said.  “continue CPR and charge to 100,” the doctor reordered.  at this point, the doctor was starting to be convinced that continued revival efforts may be futile.  “charged to 100.”  “clear!”  a third resounding thud followed, but still another flatline tone was heard.  “re-charge to 100.  this is it,” the doctor said as he prepared to get ready to shock him for one last time.  her cries now can be heard in the room amidst the flurry of activity.  “re-charged to 100.”  “clear!”  and a fourth and final thud was heard as the last revival effort came.

there was silence after administering the final attempt, then the familiar long tone of a flat line was heard again.  everyone in the room then became silent as the long tone overcame the air.  even her cries were silenced by the realization that it was all over.  the people around him had their heads bowed.  then suddenly a solitary blip was heard.  followed by another.  and another.  the nurse quickly held his wrist.  “got a pulse!”  she then shouted.  “heart rate and blood pressure stabilizing,” said another.  she slowly rose to her feet, not believing that this was happening.  she was still fixed on his face, as she then moved towards him.  his eyes then began showing signs of movement, which had everyone in the room in a collective gasp.  slowly, his dark brown eyes began to show themselves to everyone after a very long time.  she again cried, this time, with tears of joy as she then lunged at him with a warm embrace.  the long wait was over.  in the midst of celebration, he can only whisper two words to her as she held him tight,

“i’m back.”

Posted by markie at 9:52 pm | permalink | Add comment

return of the comeback

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

the title says it all.  check back on september 1, 2009.

 

 

Posted by markie at 3:15 pm | permalink | Add comment

big step forward

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

i was supposed to write a review about my recently purchased nokia e71 to let everyone know it fared compared to the previous mobile phones i’ve owned, but i guess that’ll have to wait for another day.  i know i promised some people in posting that review but please do bear waiting for a little bit longer.

 

a major change is going to happen here at home.  to be more specific, my mom and my younger sister will be leaving for the US this coming saturday.  yep, it’s my kid sister’s turn to try it out on the other side of the world, career-wise.  though my mom has always been wanting to go back there, this is a big step for my kid sis.  she filed a month-long leave from her work with uncertainty as to whether she’ll come back or not.  though she’ll still go to work up until the end of the month.  both of them have already started packing their things.  as to where they’ll stay, well, they have plenty of options.  we have lots of relatives and friends there, specifically in the west coast area of california so they won’t have any difficulty settling in.  my mom will be doing some baby-sitting duties like she did before, and as for my sister, well, she’s a big girl now, and i wish her nothing but the best.  it’ll be awfully different here now that it’s just me and my brother at home.  but, we’ll manage as always.  it’s just kinda sad that little sis isn’t around when you’re used to spending every day being with her.

 

i just wanted to share that feeling with the world.  it’s kinda sad, but at the same time, i’m very happy for both of them.  it’s hard to believe that we only have one week left to be a solid family.  but, as they say, always look at the brighter side of things.

 

again, my apologies for not posting my e71 review yet.  but to give a generalization, it’s a good phone to use.  more details on the review.  here’s wishing everyone a good week ahead.

 

 

 

Posted by markie at 6:00 pm | permalink | Add comment

greetings

Friday, April 24th, 2009

before the month ends without any posting whatsoever, i would just like to greet my younger brother a

 

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

 

i respectfully regard you as the more good-looking, smarter, wittier, and more successful than me in terms of everything in life.  here’s wishing you more health, success and happiness in everything you do.  i know i don’t get to say this much, but i love you brother.  you’re the reason i’m trying to be better than myself.  have a great, great day!!  :D

Posted by markie at 2:22 pm | permalink | Add comment

flip-flopping, darkness-drunk, and my new baby

Sunday, March 29th, 2009
what does manny pacquiao and “nicole” (a.k.a suzette nicolas) have in common?  well, for one both of them grabbed national attention–albiet one is infamous and the other one infamous (it’s up to you to tag which).  another one is that they’re now known as “flip-floppers” or going one way and then going back.  both of them are in the national (and maybe international) spotlight again with their actions.  first off with “nicole.”  but before i begin, i would like to re-post this link in order for everyone to have a clear understanding about my position in the whole incident labeled, “the subic rape case.”  you may want to read this one first before you may proceed to read about what i think of her now.
 
http://markie.i.ph/blogs/markie/2006/12/07/of-credibility-and-pity/
 
i hate to say i told you so, but “i-told-you-so!!”  the lady (i don’t know if “lady” is the right word to describe her) is an egotistical, selfish, crazy-ass lunatic who took almost everyone in the nation a roller-coaster ride in taking advantage of the philippine justice system!  as i’ve said in my previous entry about this, there was no rape that happened.  it was consensual sex!!  what’s more humiliating is that cause-oriented groups, women’s groups, activists, so-called “nationalistics,” are still defending her!  if you ask me, she should be the one imprisoned for sending an innocent man to jail for more than two years!  she claims that daniel smith, an american, raped her, and yet where does she go after the conviction?  to the united states of america!!  now what the hell does that mean?!  she should be extradited and sent back home to face the music.  if the entry i made after the one above made me feel vindicated, her recent actions just proved that the whole trial was just a waste of time.  consensual sex.  period.  that is meant to be enjoyed, not being used as a stepping stone to national (un)prominence.
 
now, on to manny pacquiao.  here’s the bottomline:  manny is a great boxer.  probably the greatest one the country has ever had.  but he’s not–and i mean NOT–a great person.  he has the audacity to call himself the “victim” in the “media-partner” brouhaha that he himself caused?!  this just shows you what kind of character he has.  but don’t get me wrong, i’m not just looking at this directly at manny pacquiao.  but with all the parties involved.  another one is solar sports and gma-7.  right after manny announced his “big switch” to abs-cbn two weeks ago, both solar sports and gma-7 issued threatening statements at manny’s camp for “breach of contract.”  just because their biggest cash cow decides to jump ship, they immediately threat legal action?  how can they file a case against a manny pacquiao who has brought glory and honor to the country through the sport of boxing?  they’ll be literally pitting themselves against almost the entire filipino people!  so what did they do instead?  the big brass of solar sports and gma-7 made haste and went to the US to privately “strong-arm” manny pacquiao into submission.  something his opponents in the ring could’nt do.  they had a private meeting which manny was presented all the legal hassles he’ll be facing if he decides to stick with his first decision.  and with manny’s character, he then recants his statements and calls abs-cbn the instigators of the switch.  how typical.  now, about abs-cbn.  talk or rumors of them offering manny full political support and coverage in his bid for congress in general santos city abound, but do they really need to do that?  let me make it clear that i’m not pro abs-cbn in this particular issue, but with careful analysis of the entire situation, it was them that showed the most class in handling the situation.  they didn’t threat any legal action against manny for going back to solar and gma, but they just wished him well in his endeavors.  a stark opposite of what solar and gma showed.  if i were them, i would’ve just let manny go.  money isn’t everything.  gma-7 has always been good in marketing themselves and is a consistent television programs topnotcher.  solar sports has a dominance in cable and free-tv sports coverages.  i’m sure they would’ve found ways to recoup their losses if manny stuck with his original decision.  now that he is back with them, you can see the smiles in the top brass as if a large pile of money is in front of them.  as with manny, well, he’ll still have my support.  in the boxing ring only.  when he comes back home, he’ll never be a person with class.  and didn’t i say that i abhor the “network war” we have here?
 
on to more cheerful news. earth hour last night was a blast.  all of us cousins were outside the house for more than two hours enjoying each other’s company in darkness.  and what did we have?  brandy and beer of course!!  drinking to earth hour even though not everyone on our street participated.  at least a few neighbors who did dropped by and had a little chit chat.  got myself tipsy and fell fast asleep after calling it a night.  i believe earth hour should happen at least twice a year.  we were talking about pushing it to have it once a month, but we then thought that might not sit well with business people.  so i guess twice a year would do.  help save mother earth, people.  it’s the only one we’ve got.
 
and lastly, i finally decided to retire my nokia N90.  though i was salivating for the htc tytn II, nokia upped the ante and introduced the E71.  and i immediately fell in love with it!  what’s more, it’s priced cheaper than when i got the N90.  with the ongoing installment madness happening, i decided to take advantage of it and bought my new baby this past friday night.  the color is black steel and it’s very, very beautiful!!  with a full qwerty keyboard, wi-fi capable, nokia maps, large 2GB micro-sd card, email ready, and a power plant-like battery among others, this was a good purchase.  the laptop will have to take a backseat.  i’m still getting myself accustomed to it, but so far, i have no difficulty using it.  now i’m not in the habit of naming my gadgets, but with this one, i think i’ll make an exception.  though i still have no idea what to name her.  some names that do stand out are veronica, lindsey, athena, and natalie.  got any good one in mind?  let me know.  female names only please.
 
anyways, there’s my rant and rave for the week.  summer is really here!  hope everyone enjoys the week ahead!  :D
 
 
 
Posted by markie at 6:49 pm | permalink | Add comment

emotional rush

Sunday, March 22nd, 2009
the past 11 days have been somewhat…  weird.  two wednesdays ago, i was able to attend my cousin’s wedding.  i was granted the day off by my new british boss, thankfully, and i still played my part as a veil sponsor.  it was a very, very happy and wonderful day to be with relatives.  not really a reunion of sorts, but it was quite surreal to see a younger cousin walk down the aisle and taking the vows.  during the reception, the groom’s sister who is the same age as mine caught the bouquet and we’re all teasing her that she’s next. i didn’t catch the garter, but it was all good, for i don’t believe in that sort of stuff.  for pictures, you can view them on my facebook account.  i’m very happy for the new couple and i wish them the best.
 
then three days later, i received news that the younger brother of a friend of mine was shot dead the previous night.  i didn’t receive the news exactly from her, but from a common friend.  though that friend of mine and i weren’t really that close, we still maintained constant communication through text messaging and occasional meet ups.  i was completely caught by surprise and found myself stunned still while i was reading the message.  i had originally planned to go to the wake sunday, but my brother had the car that day, so i went there monday after work.  upon reaching the funeral home, the mood was quite upbeat for a very somber moment.  i gave my friend a hug and offered my condolences.  i learned from her that a whole magazine of a 9mm handgun was emptied on her brother’s body in an apparent robbery which occurred outside their subdivision.  i felt so sad that such a gruesome act can be committed all for just money.  i tried to lift her spirits up as best as i can during that one hour i spent there with her.  the interment ceremony was held earlier today.  though i wasn’t able to attend, i still sent her a message telling her to stay strong.
 
’twas the first time in as long as i can remember that i had a sudden change of emotions in a couple of days.  i was still riding high on the wedding when i got the news on my friend’s brother.  it was as if you were spinning and you suddenly stop.  not that dizzying feeling, but the confusion of reorienting yourself with what just happened.  it’s hard to put into words the exact thing or feeling, but i didn’t know that it’ll be this weird.  it’s been what, a week now since i went to the wake, but i’m still experiencing the sad feeling whenever i think of what happened to him, yet everytime i see my cousin (who lives next door), i can’t help but smile and continue to be happy for them.  forging a new life ahead versus losing a loved one’s life.  how can it get more confusing than that?
 
but that’s life.  you win some, you lose some.  in a perfect world, things would be very different.  but that’s the reality of it.  you’ll never know a curve ball is going to hit you when all you think that’s coming is a fast ball.
 
that’s my rant.  and speaking of emotions, i’m going through some undecided-ness on what to get for myself.  there’s an on-going installment madness in glorietta that runs until april 5 and i’m thinking of getting myself either a laptop or a mobile phone.  thing is, i’ve got my nokia n90 for three years now, and with the signs of wear and tear both physically and performance-wise it’s having, i’m thinking that it’s time to retire it.  on the other hand, getting a laptop has been one of my targets since december.  it’ll have a huge advantage on my part, especially with the work i now have.  good thing that a third item on my wish-list has been scrapped (for now).  it was supposed to be a second hand canon 350d professional digital camera that was being sold to me by the boyfriend of one of my cousins for 17k.  but i just learned that he had already gotten a buyer for it.  i guess my new found hobby of photography will have to be put on hold.
 
anyways, i still have a couple of days to decide.  thanks to all those who have been giving me advice and support.  though your inputs are all valid and make sense, they all weigh in equally which makes decision making still quite difficult.  but for sure i’ll be finally making one in the next couple of days.
 
hope everyone has a good week ahead!!  :)
Posted by markie at 9:38 pm | permalink | Add comment

unusual heroes

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

 

despite the news of the sudden demise of francis magalona this past friday, i was able to see the movie “watchmen” after i got off work. i reserved my ticket online two days before, but had second thoughts on the day itself about seeing the movie, since i knew nothing of the comic book franchise and worried that i might get lost in the movie’s plot and storyline. but i thought that this might be a chance for me to be acquainted with the group, plus if director zach snyder did a very impressive job on “300,” then this might be worth seeing as well.

in a nutshell, it’s not your typical superhero movie of heroes versus villains. surprisingly, it’s a “generational” movie about superheroes of the 1940s and 50s, with some their children carrying on their parents’ legacy (except for doctor manhattan who stopped aging) and adopting their namesakes and continue what they started.  it’s also set in an alternate timeline of 80s america, where the term limits of the president was lifted, therefore having richard nixon still the incumbent president.  the story starts with one of the original members being murdered and the crusade of another devoted member finding out whodunnit while trying to solicit the help of the others in the team.

the plot unfolds amidst the twists and turns of each member’s relationship with their fallen comrade, and how they continue to live their lives in the present setting where society has forgotten them and they themselves trying to have a life outside of their more popular alter egos.  the movie takes you on a roller coaster ride of flashbacks and sub-plots, of emotions and principles.  i would believe that the person who watches this movie who doesn’t check his or her brain at the theater doors won’t be able to understand or keep up with the continuous bombardment of narrative dialogue while trying to find out for themselves who the murderer is.

what i liked about the movie is the constant presence of conflict.  be it among the superheroes themselves, within each one, with society, and with their desinty.  there was one line that really stood out which was mentioned by the mother of silk spectre II.  i don’t remember the exact words, but it goes something like, “the future gets dimmer and more bleak, while the past, even with the most gruesome of events, keeps getting brighter and brighter.”  i really don’t know why that line stuck, but i guess it has something to do with where we peak in our lives, be it professionally, personally, or whatever.  once we reach that, everything is downhill moving forward.  for silk spectre II’s mother, she had the height of her powers, abilities and fame and is headed towards insignificance.  i suppose all old people are like that, but you’re left to wonder if other superheroes share the same sentiment as her’s.

the movie was a good watch for me.  it was worth paying an additional 45 pesos to my usual carpark rate (i initially thought of moving to another carpark near the theater but decided against it eventually), and having dinner by myself (again).  the theater was sold out for a 7:45pm screening which is a good sign that the movie will earn big at the box office.  i would recommend this movie to anyone who wants to be entertained in a different way by a superhero movie.  it’s definitely the start of another big and highly anticipated summer movie season.  up next, nicholas cage’s “knowing.”

 

 

 

Posted by markie at 10:11 pm | permalink | Add comment

black day

Saturday, March 7th, 2009
part of me is still in a state of shock over the sudden passing of francis magalona yesterday.  i just finished having lunch yesterday when the news broke out.  being someone who admires his music and his talent, i felt a heavy feeling inside my chest as i tried to accept the fact that one of the most influential and recognizable talents in philippine music left this earth.  dying at such a young age of 44, he’s still in the prime of his career and can do more.  even now, i still find myself shocked speechless whenever i think of what happened to him.
 
francis magalona’s passing is a very big loss to philippine music and a more bigger loss to his fans who appreciate his music–me included–but ultimately, the country has lost one of it’s premier citizens who, through his music and talent, raised being proudly filipino to new heights and boosted morale of the common man with his inspiring words that went along with the beat all his own.
 
to the bereaved family of the master rapper, i humbly, sincerely and lovingly offer my condolences.  do take pride, comfort, and joy that francis magalona lived his life the way he was meant to.  he utilized his god-given talent to unite a nation through music, inspired others like him in the industry to be somebody who can also speak freely through music, and left a legacy that is truly, and entirely filipino.  his “happy battle” with leukemia did not end in vain.  rather, he proved that with a smile, one can face the gravest of challenges and stare death in the eye and say, “no matter the outcome, i’m going full throttle.”
 
a pioneer and a legend has left us.  may he rest in peace.
 
Posted by markie at 2:34 pm | permalink | Add comment

turn of the tide

Monday, February 16th, 2009
i don’t know how to describe what i am feeling right this very moment.  it’s better than when i got my recent job, and the anticipation to be part of something on the rise which i’ll be fully hands-on with is added with that.  i don’t know if the past valentine weekend had something to do with it as well, or my mobile phone turning three years old yesterday.  to cut the long story short, i’ll be starting on a new job on monday next week.  what’s good about it, is that i’ll be retaining the same normal schedule with the same days off.  i’ll be describing more of it in detail (including the company itself) in the next couple of entries, because i just can’t get over this super-charged positive feeling i had after leaving the building where i’ll be holding office soon earlier today.
 
what will i be, you may ask?  well, basically my new job function is to oversee the entire operations of the manila office, which includes–among other departments–customer support.  thankfully, my new boss will be a big british guy and he seems to understand my abilities, attitude, capabilities, and how i want to run things.  everything is straight-forward, no bullcrap and a “call-it-as-i-see-it” approach.  he also believes the kind of supportive work atmosphere i want to have compared to the ones i’ve been in.  nothing compares to the assurance being given of support and belief in one’s potential.  and my next boss is exactly that.
 
i still of course, have to get some things in order this week before i start.  medical examination and documents procurement are on top of the list, not to mention clearance stuff which will be quite easy.  i know that there are people who ain’t gonna be happy about this, but hey, when opportunity comes, i just grab it.  and did i mention that the office is in the capital’s business district?  this means less travel time, less travel expenses.
 
i missed watching three live programs earlier today (nba all-star game, latest season of the amazing race, and the live coverage of wwe’s no way out pay-per-view), but after that appointment, i could care less.  i’m revved up, excited, and finally being able to run my whole show.  if 2009 has been said to be a good year for people born in the year of the dragon, this may be the start of something big…  finally.  :)
 
off-topic and just to recap what happened to me on valentine weekend, i just drowned myself in music.  alternative ballads and rock ballads filled my ears, and on the night of the 14th, i indulged myself in a dvd movie marathon:  the lake house, sweet november, and titanic.  what a way to spend being single on the day of hearts, eh?  yesterday marked the third anniversary of my mobile phone.  nothing special, just checked to see if it’s still working fine.  hopefully it won’t end up with me for another year… hehehehe…
 
i wish everyone a good week ahead.  i hope my happiness rubs off on everyone.  thanks to all those who prayed for me.  may you be rewarded 10 times over.  right now, a new chapter in my life begins…  :)
 
 
Posted by markie at 5:32 pm | permalink | Add comment

one down, 11 to go

Saturday, January 31st, 2009
and just like that, it’s now the end of january.  it’s just like yesterday when we partied to welcome 2009.  hmmm, i’ll bet that i’ll say that last sentence again when december comes.  but as they say, time flies when you’re too busy to stop and smell the roses…  or something like that.  now comes the shortest month of the year.  and believe you me, we’ll just breeze past it faster than we think.  things to look forward to this month?  for me, there are only two, and both are sporting events.
 
first, it’s now super bowl weekend!  though my favorite team, the dallas cowboys didn’t make it that far, this sunday’s game (monday morning in manila) will still be worth watching.  i’m always for the underdog, so i’ll be rooting for the arizona cardinals to win it all against the pittsburgh steelers.  nothing’s worth spending the first monday of the month more than being glued to the tube to witness all three hours plus of helmet-crashing, bodies-flying, pigskin-throwing, crowd-cheering action.  plus, bruce springsteen will be performing at halftime.  although i haven’t seen “the boss” perform in years, but i guess the organizers could’ve done better in selecting the halftime performer.  but stil, the stadium at tampay bay will be rockin’ and rollin’ once kickoff starts.
 
the next is nba all-star weekend in phoenix.  though that’s still a couple of weeks away, the nba’s version of the pro bowl is actually three days long.  slam dunks, three-point shootouts, and east meets west highlight the festivities.  and compared to past all-star games uniforms, this year’s looks way, way better.  no over-fancy designs and distracting colors, it’s as simple as simplicity gets.  i’m a west coast kinda guy, but i think the east packs more punch in all-star basketball power this year.  the one good thing about this year is that it’ll be beamed live (hopefully) to a local channel, unlike last year when it was monopolized in one cable channel that our provider doesn’t have.  hmmm, another weekend of being glued to the tube then…
 
two major sporting events in one month.  but both something to look forward to.  someone in the background is yelling that valentine’s is also another occasion to look forward to.  what?!   valentine’s?  what’s that?  i’m not familiar with that day…  i don’t recall that there’s a celebration for that.  so it’s not an issue.  by the way, today is one of my cousins’ birthday.  so to my cousin treck who’s based in london, happy, happy birthday!!  wish you all the best, bro!
 
hope everyone has a good weekend.  i know i’ll be having one…
 
Posted by markie at 10:03 am | permalink | Add comment
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