which is which?

my good friend trina and i were talking about a question our common colleague-slash-friend asked her last friday morning.  actually we were both contemplating on posting a blog entry about it and we sort of like, "ok, let's see who's the first one to post about that topic," kind of thing.  she claimed that since she was the one who was asked that question first, she should automatically have the "rights" to that topic.  to which in turn, i replied, "ok, you first post that topic and i'll just piggyback on it."  true enough, she did.  although i have placed my thoughts on her comments section, i still can't help thinking about that question that was brought up during the weekend.  so, i decided to write down my thoughts on it.  it's something, as what she said, like of a mid-life crisis sort of question which revolves around one's personal and emotional well-being(s).  it may be mush, it may be not, but not to delay everyone's anticipation, the million dollar question was:

"which is better, looking for someone you cannot find, or waiting for someone you cannot have?"

i honestly felt the same way as she did when she popped that question to me.  i moved to answer, but was stopped short because of conflicting analogies.  i came to terms with the answer i gave her on her blog on saturday, and i leave it to your initiative whether to read it or not, as i dare not post it here due to, well, redundancy (i think, if i'm using the word correctly, because what's the point of placing a comment on a person's entry when you have plans of saying the same thing on your own blog; so better post a comment about the subject on one person's blog and use a different analogy on yours).  i studied the question further after posting that comment, and realized that one has a slight advantage over the other.  that, being the latter.  why?  because at least that someone will eventually come your way.  you can see, talk, hear and do everything but have that person.  compared to trying to look for someone all your life who you cannot eventually find.  compared to you spend time and effort doing everything humanly possible to search that person, only to end up with nothing.  now, with that being said, i rephrased that million dollar question into:

"which is better, looking for someone you cannot find, or waiting for someone who would never come?"

makes more sense, doesn't it?  i literally stopped moving upon that question forming in my head (right around 4:32 in the afternoon of sunday while trying to get some sleep).  it's like being tied up, knowing that you cannot move, yet you think to yourself, "i'll see if i can move," but before that thought ever comes to fruition, you already stop it right there and then because either way, you're right back where you started–being tied up–and knowing that you cannot move.  looking at my personal life at present, using that question as a barometer of sorts, i guess i would place myself right smack in the middle.  i have had my share of finding the right woman for me, and have failed numerous times, and also had my share of waiting for that woman of my life to come, with a few coming along, only to realize not even one of them came close to being that woman, or it did, but it's something that just wasn't meant to be.  same goes with friends who give me advice.  they would say, "don't stop looking, just keep your head up high and go on," or "don't worry, she'll come along soon enough."  for a 30-year-old, hopeless romantic guy like me, sometimes, throwing in the towel is the last resort that is fast becoming a viable option.

so, right back where we started.  which is which?

stupid mid-life crisis…

and for those who are wondering, yes, i'm still pissed.